Lemme 'splain... 

Nobody knows, What kind of trouble we're in. Nobody seems to think, It all might happen again. [guitar solo!]





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Sunday, January 23, 2005


Oh man... this is what it's like to see your world crumble before you. I wonder if the Romans ever sat up and said, "Hey. We're really falling here, ja notice? You know, we all rose up and shit for a long time... man it's just been going downhill. I think this is it."

I probably look like a stupid ass to some history buff. Pliny probably wrote that exact thing and I just don't know it. But he wrote in Latin, thhat's the difference.

We're doomed. Got it? Doomed.

So I'm taking classes at the world-famous Groundlings school and it's going really well. I'm in the level of class where if you don't pass you get kicked out of the program entirely. I've been on a waiting list for 2 years for this class. Know what? I'm not putting in that much effort. It's past my bedtime and if I'm going to be typing I should be working on my monologues but instead I'm doing this bullshit. I've spent over... $2000 on classes there. Seriously. You'd think I'd seriously apply myself. I think it's because I'm doing really well in comparison to the rest of the class, I think. Like out of the 10 people I'm in the top 3, I'd say. I know you can't tell from this blog, this ain't my medium and I don't have a suitable voice here, but I'm a pretty clever fucker.

So anyway, I feel comfortable and I'm just takin' it easy. I went in deciding I wasn't going to move on to the next class anyway (it's very hard to advance), so don't sweat it and just have fun. Well, now that I'm doing well I'm starting to think maybe I could make it, which I don't want to think cuz once I start focusing on the goal rather than the process I'm screwed and won't make it anyway. That's what folks call a catch-22.

I'd just like to be in a troupe. I've tried to put one together before but all I got was a bunch of old assholes who never wrote any material and just shit all over mine. Maybe me and some of the folks from my class will band together and be a troupe. The thing is... I'm really squeamish. When someone kind of makes me uncomfortable, I just can't deal with them at all. There's a couple people in the class I just could not work with and I'm afraid if we tried troupin' up I'd just-

I'm gonna stop writing, I'm boring the shit out of myself, to tell you the truth. I'm just burning off some energy before I hit the sack. Did you know my bed folds down from my wall and that I made the whole thing by myself? Yep, I made myself a mmurphy bed. I'm a fucking rennysauce man.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Impeach the motherfucker!

The White House acknowledged Wednesday that its hunt for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction — a two-year search costing millions of dollars — has closed down without finding the stockpiles that President Bush cited as a justification for overthrowing Saddam Hussein. Bush's spokesman said the president had no regrets about invading Iraq "Based on what we know today, the president would have taken the same action because this is about protecting the American people," said Press Secretary Scott McClellan.

What does that fucking MEAN?!? "This is about protecting the American people". What the fuck?


Protecting us from what? WHAT? Tell me what the fuck we've been protected from by spending millions and sending thousands to their graves. Tell me what the fuck we were being protected from.

Duelfer said then that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction and had not made any since 1991. However, he said the government harbored intentions of recreating its weapons programs and had gone to great lengths to manipulate the U.N. oil-for-food program.

Harbored intentions.

Fucking impeach the president. Someone in the senate or congress needs to sacrifice their career by going full bore to impeach this fucking slug.

In an interview Wednesday with Barbara Walters of ABC News, Bush defended his decision to invade Iraq.

"I felt like we'd find weapons of mass destruction — like many here in the United States, many around the world," Bush said in the interview, to be broadcast Friday night. "We need to find out what went wrong in the intelligence gathering. ... Saddam was dangerous and the world is safer without him in power."

I fucking hate you. I. Fucking. Hate. You.

Here's a newsflash, asshole, I knew there were no stockpiles of weapons in Iraq. Me. A dumb fuck who doesn't have a vast intelligence network at his command. I knew and most of the rest of the world knew. How did we know? Because everyone in the world who would know whether or not they had weapons said they didn't have any fucking weapons. You didn't get bad intelligence, you forced bad intelligence, you fucking pig. And you know it. You've known it this whole time. Either that or you are the stupidest, most incompotent man on the fucking planet.

We're losing our capacity to assess reality in this country. Someone all smart and famous said something like if you can get people to think absurd thoughts, you can get them to do anything. Well half this country is out of their fucking minds. Completely and utterly delusional. We are on the brink of something very, very bad. We're not the good guys anymore, not by a fucking long shot. Why the fuck can't we, as a nation, look at the fucking evidence staring back at us like a brown eye and say "we really, really fucked up by electing this prick again. We were really, really stupid when we put our heads in the sand and played along. We need out ass kicked."

Because we do. Hard.

On the local news teaser they were saying something about the hunt being officially over with no WMDs found and said "so what happened to them?"

They never existed, the whole world knows this, and we still pretend, en masse, that it was an honest fuck up and no one should feel bad especially not the president who really, gosh durn it, tries his dardest to do what's right, but he makes tough decisions and give him a break cuz it's hard work, ya'll.

Right now I fucking hate this country. I mean it. Fuck you USA- a bunch of stupid redneck jesus fetishists is all you are. We're doomed. I mean it. 50 years you're gonna either fucking hate this country, be too fucking poor to do anything about hating it, or be an insane citizen stomping fags and burning jews who won't convert. I'm starting my own fucking country "USAisFUCKEDistan".

Fuck this shit.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

How much you want to bet...

...these guys vote Republican:

Police Are Stumped by Attacks on Town's Trees

The vandalism, which began in May, has targeted red oaks, liquidambars, crab apples and Italian alders — some more than 30 feet tall. Then, this month, the defacers struck Windsor's signature tree, a stately, 200-year-old coast live oak that is pictured in the town's logo, town stationery and vehicle decals, as well as the uniform patches of the 17-member Police Department.

On Dec. 11, two dozen low-hanging limbs, some of them eight inches in diameter, were hacked off and left beneath the historic tree. Now the canopy, which once extended to the ground, has been cut back six feet in what officials said resembles a bad haircut.

In other incidents, vandals almost severed the trunks of smaller trees and left them teetering in the wind. Some toppled. Others, located next to a baseball diamond and restroom, were felled by town workers because they posed a hazard.

While they say the historic oak will survive, officials place the value of replacing the fallen trees in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.

"These are living things and they have been killed," Mullinax said. "For those that have been injured, they need care, just like a pet."

Real brave act of courage this hacking of trees.

Authorities at first suspected the vandalism was the work of pranksters. But now Chief Day suspects perhaps "a darker motive."

Yeah, and that "darker motive" is to feel like a big, bad culture warrior for the right.

How long till Rush or Hannity or Coulter pick this up and describe it as a bunch of liberals whining about a little pruning?

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Ain't nothing new about how shitty we can be this new year

He pledged $15 million. Then, in order to appease people, pledged $35 million when he finally spoke, 3 days after the event, 3 days spent at his fucking ranch riding his bike and "clearing brush" (known in other circles as being a douche), and $35 million is nothing.

So now we get $350 million. Thats' more like it, but let's show the world this asshole isn't our man. Donate something. I never have any money and got a bonus from work, so I donated a bit, a tiny bit, but it adds up.

Here's a goo dlist of places to donate, via Slacktavist.

Go to bobharris.com too, he's a good guy.

[oh yeah, "he" is our truly awful prez, if that wasn't clear]

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