Tuesday, June 07, 2005

 
What follows is some notes, bits of dialogue, etc., for a video I was noodling around with, thinking of doing. I worked on this at work and had no way to get it home so I posted it here as a draft months ago. I forgot it was here. Anyway, it's just kind of funny because I fogot it was here and when I first read it I didn't remember for a minute and thought someone learned my pass word.

Yeah, not that funny.

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What do we got here?

Caucasian male, dead. About 25 years old or so. Got his wallet, but no ID.

(looks at wallet)
Bank of America sucks. So that's a carrot up his ass?

Yeah.

Alright, start dusting this place.

Sir, we found a bag of white powder, this might be drug related.

Well whooppee. Do I look like narcotics to you? My jurisdiction begins and ends with that carrot penetrating that mans asshole.

Sir! Come here! This isn't a carrot at all! It's a parsnip!

What kind of sick fuck are we dealing with here?

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(chief)
Any leads on the vegtable ass murders?

Not yet. Just to clarify though, they didn't die from vegtables up the ass, that's just the pervert's calling card.

How'd they all die?

What do I look like, homocide?

Sorry. Now listen Jim, I've always enjoyed good relations with you, so you know you're the only man I trust to deflower my daughter.

sigh.

You've put off the wedding twice now, you-

But I'm this close to cracking the case!

You better not back out again! I don't care if a giant pussy attacks the mayor and you're the only cop who can save him, you're marrying my daughter this Saturday!

A giant pussy sure would make my career.

I'm giving you a partner.

What?!

My theory is a naive young recruit will keep you in line.

I work alone!

Meet James Swenson.

Hi.

Shit.

I studied your case of the seven dildos in school.

Shit.

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(stake out)
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posted by Tim 2:34 PM