Wednesday, February 25, 2004

 
I seethe with the geebies

Sometimes I'll come across something so mind-bendingly stupid I just get paralyzed. The effort of trying to sort out the logic behind the stupidity plus trying to decide where to begin to deconstruct it is just too much.

But then usually I just have a few drinks and spew out everything into one big incomprehensible goo. But I think I have a handle on this one:

Hundreds of New Yorkers got a sneak preview of Mel Gibson's controversial movie, "The Passion of the Christ," yesterday - leaving many deeply moved and in tears, but some taken aback by the film's gory violence.

"I'd give it 10 stars. It's one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life," said Maritza Castro, 32, who had tears streaming down her face as she left a preview screening for church groups at the Magic Johnson Theater in Harlem.

"I knew from the Bible that he did take a beating. I didn't know how intense," she said.

OK, OK. What's so stupid that I was stuck in the fetal position for half an hour? Well, I've bolded it for you.

People, that woman quoted above knew from reading the bible that Jesus got some of the rough stuff, but she never knew how rough until she got in her car, drove to the theater, and sat down to watch a movie in full dolby surround sound. Now she knows what happened some 2,000 years ago.

Oh god, it's happening again, paralysis. I. Thought. I. Could. Control. It.

OK. What would make this woman think this movie, made by Lethal Weapon's Mel Gibson, showed "the rest of the story"? You know, everything not mentioned in the bible? Does she think Mel Gibson has a special, extended edition, unabridged bible? Does she think people out there, specifically Lethal Weapon's Mel Gibson, know the whole story and she's just not privy to it?

This time I think the answer is quite simple:
She's stupid.

I mean that. I mean it completely. She's not very smart and just stupid enough to be completely gullible in the "I'm not smart enough to realize I accept all sorts of things as true without ever actually considering them at all" sense.

Come on, this woman thinks she just saw an accurate depiction of what the bible does not explain. How could she not be a bit dumb?

[As a side note, I'm not saying believing in God and all that makes one dumb. No. But one of my big problems with religion as a social force is that it preys upon the ignorant. It's marketed as 100% true history, and that's a lie. Someone trying to convert people doesn't say "this is an ancient book that tells the story of this guy, personally I believe the stories to be about true events", no. They say something along the lines of "this is the word of God and we know it's true, so you better get with the program because this is how God operates". I hate that. That's not even how faith is supposed to work, in my opinion. It's a personal thing, not a blank acceptance of a story as truth.]

This guy:

Tom Schoenherr, 48, an assistant dean at Fordham Law School, attended a screening sponsored by the American Bible Society at the Loews 84th Street Theater on the Upper West Side.

"Having read the story, to see a dramatic portrayal of it was just amazing," Schoenherr said.

OK. Not stupid. He called it a dramatic portrayal. Story-telling. OK. But wait--

"The story is about someone who was murdered in a horrific way. It's not a pretty thing. But it was an accurate portrayal and extremely effective," he said.

Awwww, geez. I'm gonna go with "not stupid but should know better".

And this guy:

Peter Trautmann, 32, a campus minister from Manhattan, said the movie was "excellent, overwhelming."

"I cried through much of it," he said. "It's a very accurate, powerful, visceral experience."

"Should know better and therefore a little stupid", for that guy.

Hey, you wanna be moved by it and such, fine. But if for one second you think of it as "accurate", you've traipsed off to idiot-ville. I'm sorry, but there's a big difference between a dramatization and an accurate depiction when it comes to things like this. We're talking about the JC, the dude people supposedly go so far as to blow up abortion clinics for. You start thinking some fucking Braveheart, 33 AD! movie is a historically correct reenactment you've left your reason behind in the truck stop restroom.

You know there's this saying, "you meet a Buddha in the road, kill him". What it's about is if you're striving for spiritual enlightenment and one day you suddenly find it, you haven't, because it's not that easy. You need to kill that Buddha (or Jesus) and continue on your quest for enlightenment, because that Buddha is nothing more than a manifestation of your longing. You haven't found Jesus, you're still just in your own head and everything you think is about Him is about YOU.

That movie has got very little to do with Jesus, and everything to do with Mel Gibson's personal obsessions and arrogance. People need to keep in mind it's a fucking movie and not a documentary.

Yanira Gonzalez, 39, hugged her husband, Pete, outside the Magic Johnson Theater.

"It was very powerful. If you don't know Jesus, by the time you finish watching this movie, you definitely will," she said.

"It wasn't [overly] violent. If you read the Bible, you'll see that he [Gibson] went by that. If the Bible had had pictures, it would have been just like that."

No, you'll have a peek into the mind of Mel Gibson and an idea of Jim Caviezel's acting range. It's a fucking movie.

And as I've said before, unless you're showing Jesus as a short brown man with dark eyes and dark, curly hair, you've already screwed up that whole "accuracy" thing.



posted by Tim 10:40 AM

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

 
Looking back...

With some things it's pretty easy to see the future.

South Africa in the 60s-- the whites thought a white minority could rule over the land with a submissive black population serving as cheap labor. It seemed self evident to the head honchos and much of the white population that that's how it would always be. Black people knew different, Nelson Mandela, in prison for 27 freakin' years, knew different: it was wrong and it just simply could not last.

The US, specifically the southern US in the 60s-- pretty similar. It seemed perfectly natural and correct to most of the whites down there and elsewhere that blacks were lower on the totem pole and whites should naturally be on top. People with brains in their heads knew different: it wasn't right and it would not persist.

Am I about to bring up the homos? Damn straight.

Let's get one thing straight, Bush is a dick:

Bush said "activist judges and local officials" from Massachusetts to San Francisco to New Mexico were attempting to redefine marriage and "change the most fundamental institution of civilization" by allowing same-sex weddings. "On a matter of such importance, the voice of the people must be heard," he said.

...
"After more than two centuries of American jurisprudence and millennia of human experience, a few judges and local authorities are presuming to change the most fundamental institution of civilization," the president said.

Is it the same as the civil rights movement or aparteid? No. But you see Bush and his 'Hideous brand Christianity' pals are setting this up as a fight against some civilization threatening force. "Fundamental", "civilization", "centuries", "millennia of human experience", "institution". This is no less a threat than if Hannibal and his giant mutant space-pacyderms were amassing along the Candian border.

It's a simple goddamn issue: Homosexuality is not "the norm" but it is a normal and natural variation within the species. Hell, outside the species as well. And all that queers are asking for is the same exact rights as other normal people.

It is a fundamental issue: it's fundamentally unfair to discriminate and withhold basic freedoms from people because of arbitrary differences between them. Homosexuality is an arbitrary difference, people. It's not much different from skin color, and didn't we all decide it was unfair to discriminate based upon something as arbitrary as skin color? Huh? [well, these guys didn't but they're idiots]

You're either born with the propensity or potential to be homosexual or you're not. When something's part of your physiological makeup, when you get something because of a genetic die roll, it's arbitrary. [Just FYI, homosexuality is due (or perhaps I should say, usually due) to physiological factors, but it's not like the genes for haircolor. In other words, there's no "fag gene" that is simply turned on or off, it's a combination of physiological factors that culminate in a predication toward homosexuality. I think if you're gay you're gay, but it's obvious to anyone that's ever known gay people, there's degrees to "gayness". Hence the occasional Christian reformed faggo.]

Being arbitrary, it's ridiculous to present this as some sort of cosmic battle between civilization and the butt-hungry (or box-hungry) barbarians. It's really not that big of a deal from a "big-picture" perspective. What I mean by that is if you were an independent, nearly omniscient observer from space, you would have looked at the status of blacks 40 years ago and said, "Well of course they should have the same rights. Why the hell are the white specks making such a big deal out of this? Of course the black specks should be able to vote. Sheesh."

Same thing. "Of course the well-dressed, thin specks should be able to marry. Why are the fat-assed specks making such a big deal out of this? I mean, it's only obvious to any near-omniscient observer in space with half a fucking brain. Sheesh."

What's right is on the side of the gay-o's, people. I mean, that doesn't mean 50 years from now this country might not be a theocratic state in perpetual war with the rest of the world in an effort to cleanse it of infidels, that could still surely happen. All I'm saying is if you got a heart in your chest you ought to get over your tired old squeamishness toward fags and accept the inevitable: letting them be the same as straight people is the right thing to do.


[Oh yeah, and as for that "millennia" bullshit, I hear Skull and Bones is big on the Greek stuff]
posted by Tim 9:03 PM

Monday, February 23, 2004

 
He's toast.

This is the best he can come up with?

President Bush took the offensive on his re-election campaign Monday, casting Sen. John Kerry as a waffler and warning that the Democrats would raise taxes, expand the government and fail to lead decisively on national security.

Waffling? Jebus christ.

I know, let's get sideshow Bob to do some backflips to illustrate how he flip-flops on issues!

Waffling.... fortheloveofcripes is this nineteeneightyorsomethin...?

Let's all be reminded of the real situation on government expansion, shall we?

Overall spending is up by at least 16 percent since he took office, far more than the 2 percent average annual inflation rate over the same period. According to one recent analysis, the government now spends $20,000 a year for every household in America, the most since World War II.

Listen, it's not even that simple, the real problem is fucked up priorities plus trying to buy love with tax cuts that are killing us, but to fall back on that bullshit "raise taxes, expand government" bit when the government has hardly expanded so quickly and under deficit spending as it has now, it just shows you how they're all out of ideas.

Previewing his principal re-election theme, Bush made national security the centerpiece of his revamped re-election speech, explicitly invoking the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. He questioned the credentials of the Democrats who want his job.

"The action we take and the decisions we make in this decade will have consequences far into this century," Bush told 1,400 people at a fund-raiser for Republican governors. "If America shows weakness and uncertainty, the world will drift toward tragedy. That will not happen on my watch."

...
Bush pledged to improve the economy and "keep our enemies on the run," recalling his walk through the rubble of the World Trade Center on Sept. 14, 2001. The Democratic presidential hopefuls "have not offered much in the way of strategies to win the war, or policies to expand the economy," he said.

He's a little, petty, frightened man. No, he's not going to show you he's scared, he's just not going to have any unscripted media apearances, he's not going to debate more than he has to, he's just going to keep to the quick, bullshit soundbites that drooling idiots and magical-dolphin worshipping bettys cream over like "keep our enemies on the run". Jebus. That's just pathetic.

This guy lives in the 1980's GI Joe cartoon. His dialogue and ideas are about as fresh and substantive.

Hey, maybe before the election he'll announce Cobra Commander has acquired a nuclear-tipped glider that could sail across the ocean from Cobra's island headquarters and you better not vote Democrat!

Not a bad rejoinder from Kerry:

Kerry said Bush's plunge into campaign mode signaled the president is nervous.

"I don't think losing 3 million jobs, having deficits as far as the eye can go, having 2 million people lose their health insurance, turning your back on kids in schools and not funding No Child Left Behind ... represents a vision," Kerry said in Queens, N.Y.

Dude, you could so knock that wussy flat on the ground. Man, Kerry, you get in the ring with that painted momma's boy you fucking lay into him and DO NOT STOP. Rip him a new one. He's an idiot who can't speak in complete sentences unless he's bullshitting. You get him on the ropes enough people are going to start seeing through his "aw shucks" persona and realize there's nothing there but a selfish, self-centered, arrogant dick with an enourmous sense of entitlement woven into his DNA. He's a pathetic, mediocre rich boy who's never had to work for anything. He doesn't deserve to be president.

6 months ago I would have told you I thought we were in for another 4 years, if you could hear me with my head in the oven, that is. It seemed there was no end to how incredibly fucking stupid people could be. I mean, 6 months ago people still thought there were WMDs and Iraq was a threat to the US. Sure, the annointed delusionists still cling to some part of that twisted reality (usually something like 'so we should have left Saddam in power' to avoid the issue altogether), but people seem to be waking up a bit.

He's gone, and I can't fucking wait.
posted by Tim 8:35 PM

 
Are Texans dumb, evil, or just ign'ant?

I knew a guy from Texas who said he was a Republican, and a Texas Republican, so you know what that means, he said. He was a nice guy and not dumb at all. So why in the hell, in a state that supposedly prides itself on being all down-home and nice folks and common sense, do they support fucking asshats like this?:

From: Joby Fortson
Subject: R's will pick up 6-7 seats now in Texas

The maps are now official. I have studied them and this is the most agressive map I have ever seen. This has a real national impact that should assure that Republicans keep the House no matter the national mood.

...

10 - Doggett - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - The district goes from North central Austin (NOT liberal Hyde Park but more north conservative Plugerville area) and stretches to Katy Texas outside of Houston. Robert called this the 290 district....

...

3 - Thornberry - Thornberry remains pretty muich the smae but the map is very wacky at points to appease Speaker Craddick and State Senator Duncan. (remains R)

...

17 - Stenholm - Really its the one Chet Edwards will run in and . . . bye Chet. Chet loses his Killeen-Ft. Hood Base in exchange for conservative Johnson County. They will not like the fact he kills babies, prevents kids from praying and wants to take their guns. State Rep Arlene Wohlgemuth come on down, you are the next Congressman from Texas....

...

18 - Jackson-Lee - as much as we despise her, she cannot be drawn out. She still has the 5th ward and downtown Houston. The Queen lives!!!! (remains D)

...

24 - Frost - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hello Congressman Marchant (a state Senator). His distrcit disappeared as Burgess takes inner city Ft. Worth, Eddie Bernice Johnson takes his part of inner city Dallas, Sessions takes his hispanic voters in central Dallas and Barton takes his home in north Arlington. It simply disappears in a Coppell centered district in the VERY republican mid-cities area between Dallas and Ft. Worth....

...

30 - Eddie Bernice Johnson - she takes Frost's african American population in Dallas and lets her republican precincts (like las colinas) go. Her district finally for the first time make perfect sense geographically. (remains D)

Listen, I'm sure this kind of "ha ha, fuck those guys" language happens in every political corner, the point is this redistricting is the worst sort of slimy, political gamesmanship out there, done completely in the pusuit of power with little thought to the actual business of making people's lives better... oh wait. I forgot. The modern GOP doesn't want to make people's lives better, they just want power so they can entrench themselves and their cronies and then dismantle the social contract, leaving the US a plutocracy with them on top. Whoops.

Silly me.

The question is, why do regular people buy this bullshit, and why is Texas full of regular people who fucking shower and bathe in this bullshit?

posted by Tim 8:20 PM

Friday, February 20, 2004

 
Urg

So I've been sick for about 3 days or so and these be the symptoms: I'm dizzy. Headaches. Nausea. Dizzy. All bloated like a carcass. Dizzy. And dizzy.

What the hell? Huh? What the hell?

Maybe I shouldn't have made sweet love to all those asian chickens.

Zing!


posted by Tim 5:52 PM

Monday, February 09, 2004

 
Pot. Kettle. Black.

An American Airlines pilot made some passengers fearful when he urged them to make wise use of their flight time by talking to Christians, passengers said Monday.

"We were just at the beginning of our flight. The pilot came on to greet everyone and give his comments for the morning, and he said he'd recently been on a mission trip, and he'd like all the Christians to please raise their hands," said passenger Jen Dorsey.

He said, 'If you are a Christian, raise your hand.' He said, 'If you are not, you're crazy,'" said Austin.

Dorsey nodded her head in agreement that the pilot had called non-Christians "crazy."

Another passenger recounted a similar experience in an interview with WCBS-TV in New York. Amanda Nelligan told the station the pilot said those who did not raise their hands were "crazy."

I think the idea that Christians are being oppressed in 21st Century America is what's behind this kind of behavior.

Religeous indignants are all gettin' up in it because they think secular means the same thing as anti-Christian (here's a clue, fucktwads- buy a dictionary). So unless God permeates every corner of our culture in one way or another (either via straight inclusion or straight exclusion of anything they hate, you know, like fags) Christians are being persecuted.

This is fucked up. And wrong. Man, if I was on that flight I woulda' said, "where the hell do you get off abusing your authority like that? And tell me this, asswipe, do you think it's a good idea to essentially tell the whole fucking plane their captain is a evangelizing fundamentalist? Asshole. I'm am sooo calling Satan right when I get in the terminal."

Austin said no passengers raised their hands.

Note to religeous indignants everywhere (including the example in my previous post):

Your faith is your own damn business and no one elses.

Secular doesn't mean anti-Christian.

Living in a country in which you're free to worship how you please, free to wear your religion on your sleeve if you wish; but not free to use public resources to promote your religion (or demand your captive audience in your almost-public-service role to put up with your faith) is not oppression, that's freedom.

Oppression is when a government promotes one religion above others and allows public servants and resources to be used for the promotion of that religion. Because, you see, your faith is your own goddamn business, and guys like this pilot have no right to force it down anyone else's throat.

About 45 minutes into the flight, the pilot apologized -- but his apology focused on the crew, not the passengers, Dorsey said.

"He came on and said, 'I want to apologize for my comments earlier. I think I really threw the flight crew off a little bit, and they are getting a lot of flack for the things I said. So I want to apologize to my flight crew,' " she said.

Self-absorbed ass.


posted by Tim 8:02 PM